The reader dating
I'd bring it up sooner rather than later into your visit (after hellos but before any fancy, romantic anniversary dinners, if possible).Tell him frankly but calmly how exactly you came across the information (be prepared for some defensiveness, even if you came across it honestly), and then say that while you aren't accusing him of anything, you'd really like to know his motivation for downloading apps for dating.
I'll be seeing him in less than a week for the first time in months to celebrate our four-year anniversary, and I don't know what to do and how I should address it assuming I even mention it.
I'm scared this might be the end of our perfect love."Oof. I should point out that our friends at How About We do have services for couples, not just singles…but I can't really explain away Tinder, so I think you're right to be concerned.
That said, I don't necessarily think this spells certain doom for your relationship.
"My boyfriend and I had been living together for a year until I moved out four months ago for graduate school.
I have to admit, things have been rocky but for the most part we've been able to get past all of our obstacles of long-distance hardships and trust issues.
Recently, I found out that he had downloaded apps on his phone (Tinder and How About We) sometime after I moved away.
I assure you I didn't find out in a dishonorable way; it was purely an accident that I wish I could forget.
Don't get me wrong: In your shoes, I would be upset, but I think it's possible you can get through this.
Here's how I think you should do it…First of all, I think you're right to not have this conversation over the phone.