I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me?If their first wife was their age, like a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. It’s frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating.It’s the built-in folly of online sites: you are only defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.

In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue.

When I have emailed some of those guys, I never hear back.

I’m guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further.

Even if I am within their desired range, I still don’t get much of a response.

I’ve noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing.

It’s as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life.

I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself.

The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (usually 35-50) I often move past them, knowing I can’t compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me!

I don’t mean those men any disrespect, I just want to date a guy closer to my age so that I have a longer future with him, and I don’t feel that I should have to apologize for that.

I have taken your and others’ advice about profile writing, and I have great photos, so I feel confident that the problem is not in how I present myself. It always comes out eventually and I’d hate to have to explain myself then.

I’m not ashamed of my age and hiding it seems phony.